The Astute Humility of Drew Barrymore
Notes on a striking statement.
Where would I be today without Drew Barrymore?
I usually wake up at three or four in the morning and work for a few hours. It’s a perfect time to write. While the world sleeps, my sense of privacy is complete. Nothing distracts me in the wee hours.
But I haven’t been up early this week. I’ve been sleeping like the dead and far too late to work properly. I write from my childhood home in Virginia.
My mother still lives here, and I come down every month to help take care of her. She’s 94, and being 94 is tough, particularly when you’ve lived a life of absolute independence.
As a result, I’m super tired and everything I write is terrible. I’m not fishing for compliments. The little bit of work I’ve managed to do is dreadful. I’m in no mood for Important Topics and have been mildly alarmed at the prospect of churning out an essay.
Then lo and behold, like a poorly wrapped gift from the heavens, Drew Barrymore invited her audience to cross the picket line.
It’s low hanging fruit, I know. So sue me.
There’s a strike going on in the film and television industry. I’m in one of the unions that’s striking, SAG-AFTRA, which handles the contract agreements for professional actors in film and television.
Writers Guild of America (WGA) is also on strike. One of the biggest issues currently on the table for both unions is how producers and executives utilize Artificial Intelligence (AI) in film and streaming services.
Writers want producers and executives to pay them instead of using AI to create scripts.
Both strikes are critical. If our contracts don’t reflect current technology, we are sunk.
Please note, unless there were unions, actors and writers would not get decent pay or have safe environments in which to work. Studios would run away with all the money.
Productions are currently shut down. This puts a lot of people out of work, but it’s necessary for our future livelihoods.
In addition to writers and actors (including background actors, who can work terribly long hours), you have grips, production assistants, assistant directors, caterers, hair and makeup people, costumers, drivers, and many others out of work.
If we don’t stick together, we get nowhere. When we strike, there’s one golden rule: solidarity.
One of the benefits I enjoy as a union member is getting paid when a show is put in syndication. This is an important piece of information. Drew Barrymore still gets paid for work she did as a child. When ET runs on TV, she gets a check.
Now that my mini tutorial is over, we can get to the work at hand.
When union members strike, we have picket lines.
In her infinite wisdom, Drew Barrymore decided to tape Season 4 of her talk show, despite the strike. She faced blistering criticism for this decision, including being disinvited to host the National Book Awards.
It’s difficult to believe she can justify her actions to herself, let alone us. It’s difficult to imagine an ego so big, a sense of importance so over-inflated. It’s a betrayal to the thousands of people who are truly struggling.
It’s a classic case of having your cake and eating it too. Although not my favorite idiom, it fits. Collecting checks a union has fought for while crossing a picket line is unconscionable.
She put out a statement about her decision, and this is where the fun starts.
Writing is hard. Drew Barrymore’s own words are a perfect example of why we need professional writers. Writing is a different skill set than acting.
So I am going to have a bit of fun giving Drew some notes on her writing. You can read her entire statement here, but I’m going line by line. Italics are her words, not mine.
1) I made a choice to walk away from the MTV, film and television awards because I was the host and it had a direct conflict with what the strike was dealing with which was studios, streamers, film, and television.
What? This is a run-on sentence. But that’s not its only problem. We commonly refer to sentences like this as “word salad.” You need a writer to write all your sentences, because if this is the best you can do, you’re in trouble.
And who cares, we aren’t talking about the MTV awards. There’s a phrase for what you’re doing: virtue signaling.
“Guys, I already walked away in solidarity once, I’m a good person!”
It also leads me to believe that you really wanted to host the MTV awards and think strikes are a pain in the ass.
2) It was also in the first week of the strike and so I did what I thought was the appropriate thing at the time to stand in solidarity with the writers.
Why does the phrase “the writers” rub me the wrong way? I get the feeling anyone but “the stars” are secondary to you. And as we’ve established, you are in desperate need of “the writers.”
Why is striking then different from striking now? It’s clear you expected the strike to last a week or two at most, and anything longer is too inconvenient for your busy career. Noted.
3) And to be clear, our talk show actually wrapped on April 20th so we never had to shut down the show.
I can see you haven’t broken any rules in your own mind. The rest of us don’t live in your mind. And I’m almost certain you ended taping on 4/20 deliberately and celebrated with edibles.
4) However, I am also making the choice to come back for the first time in this strike for our show, that may have my name on it but this is bigger than just me.
Jesus wept. I mean, come on. The construction of this “sentence” is disastrous.
I take issue particularly with the last part: your name, and the show being bigger than you, blah blah blah.
I promise there is no show on television worth the future livelihoods of everyone in our unions. It’s a talk show. Nobody has ever gotten bigger than Oprah. The phrase ‘bigger than me’ is embarrassing.
Is there no one in your orbit who will point out you’re nailing yourself into a coffin? It’s death by hubris.
5) I own this choice.
We’ll see about that.
6) We are in compliance with not discussing or promoting film and television that is struck of any kind.
Oh, dear. We’ve arrived at the “technically, I’m not doing anything wrong” portion of the program. Again.
You’re doing a lot of “technically, I am not violating anything,” because you’re not in WGA, you’re in SAG-AFTRA. So you’re technically not violating the contract with the union to which you belong. You’re just giving the finger to professional writers. No worries.
7) We launched live in a global pandemic.
Not certain you really need the adjective “global” when referencing the pandemic, which you would know if you were a writer. It’s redundant. A pandemic by its nature is global. Otherwise, it would be an epidemic.
And goody for you, there were nurses and doctors saving lives in the pandemic. Again, context. Perspective. You’re lacking it.
8) Our show was built for sensitive times and has only functioned through what the real world is going through in real time.
Drew, you’re exhausting and I can’t take much more. Are we done yet?
9) I want to be there to provide what writers do so well, which is a way to bring us together or help us make sense of the human experience.
I truly don’t understand. Writers are on strike. How can they help us make sense of the human experience, other than by example?
No writer on earth would claim that sentence.
10) I hope for a resolve for everyone as soon as possible.
“Resolve” is a verb. “Resolution” is a noun. You’re welcome.
11) We have navigated difficult times since we first came on air.
So have the rest of us, but we probably make less money than you. And we are finally at the last line:
12) And so I take a step forward to start season 4 once again with an astute humility.
No, you don’t. Not a single person alive could read this statement and have the word “humility” float up as a result.
Furthermore, I’m not at all certain “astute” is the word you wanted. The synonyms for astute are shrewd, sharp, acute. Maybe you meant profound? You probably meant profound. But my advice is take a cue from Hemingway and lose the adjectives. You really do not need more adjectives. Or adverbs. It’s hard enough to figure out what you mean without them.
Very few things drive me crazier than listening to someone yammer on about how humble they are. It’s not humble to speak of your own humility.
I haven’t seen your show, Drew, but I’ve heard it’s very good. My advice is as follows, because I don’t want you to fail, and you have really stepped in it this time.
Stop taping the show. Stop asking audiences to cross the picket line. Then ask someone to help you craft three declarative sentences. They should follow along these lines:
-I made an error.
-I apologize to the WGA for disrespecting the work of professional writers.
-I apologize to all union members who are withstanding real hardship as I live a life of luxury.
As Miranda Priestly would say,
“That’s all.”
Agreed. That was some third-rate boss-lady mumbo-jumbo.